If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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