I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
