When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
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He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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