summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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