Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
