I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
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I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
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You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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