Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
The adults are the big ones right?
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