She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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