i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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