I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
