so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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