Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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