so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
