umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
