i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
