8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
