If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
