I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
