nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
well you can't waste a boner
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
