shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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