Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
