Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
