mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
