We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
