u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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