God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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