Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
