we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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