Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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