Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
