I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
