she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
is wine microwaveable?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
