You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
