i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
