Welp...herpes.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
