If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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