Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
worst night to have a conscience
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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