She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize