I wanna bring you to show and tell
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
