I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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