We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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