ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
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I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
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The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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