I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
