We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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