the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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