i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
