i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
