Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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