I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
