I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
