If i come over, it means nothing
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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