i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
it's great music for shaving your balls
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I know her cup size but not her name....
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
