i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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