apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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