So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
