sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
