Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
