Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
