I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
