no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
