i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize