You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
